Selections from One-Star Amazon Reviews of Bram Stoker’s Dracula

[Editorial note: The following citations come from one-star Amazon reviews of Bram Stoker’s novel Dracula. I’ve preserved the reviewers’ original punctuation and spelling. More one-star Amazon reviews].

Crapula

hack author

Painfully verbose

he lives in a castle!

hard to understand

NOTHING is happening

find an abridged version

I have read many horror novels

may be the worst book ever written

being the avid vampire fan that I am

attempt to cash in on the vampire craze

cavort lasciviously with the sons of the devil

Watch the movie and save yourself some time

I’m always willing to read new vampire fiction

epistolary format is monotonous and repetitive

Turns out the vampire in this book is an old guy

It was so stupid and the movie was even stupider

If you’re like me, just tring this book to make yourself feel brave, forget it

I think I have been hacked or my late wife’s daughter is using our account

Any vampire fan knows that vampires roam the streets of upper middle class suburbia

Over the past couple years I’ve started a collection of vampire books which totals over 100 now

I’ll be returning this on my next trip to the library and sticking to the teen reading section for finding my next vampire novel

I fully realize that this is a fictional/fantasy tale containing elements that obviously require a certain amount of leeway and suspension of belief, but

Epostolary novel told from multiple perspectives about the vampire, Count Dracula, who is trying to invade London and turn everyone else into vampires. A bunch of rich guys and a chick decide to stop him.

no relationship between Lucy and the Count-which i suppose makes more sense as to why he bit her

up pops a homoerotic cover with naked men, one whose penis is exposed in the background

the book is down hill from the time Dracula is in London and it is decided that he must be destroyed

the method being used to advance the plot being in disuse since quite some time

he is not a suave romantic movie/play character but an angry stupid animal

Amazon markets this book not to children but homosexual adult men

The movie was so much better even with Keanu Reeves’ awful acting

what are the standards when it comes to classic books

It started so well and I don’t know what happen?

I do not recommend this product to anyone else

Maybe I’ve read too much Sookie and Twilight

it is a great deterrent to the modern reader