1. Reboot of True Blood as a half-hour sitcom focused on Merlotte’s; Lafayette is the star, that red headed chick is his sidekick, and Sookie is nowhere in sight.
2. Reboot/sequel of Battlestar Galactica that picks up right where the second reboot ended, in modern-day New York City. No sci-fi elements. The series is simply a dull soap opera.
3. Girls/Game of Thrones mashup; the Khaleesi sends her dragons to eat privileged white people in Brooklyn. The series is over in about 4 minutes.
4. Sequel to The Wire that takes place entirely in your imagination; you occasionally muddle key details.
5. Reboot of Mad Men as insufferable single-camera faux documentary 30 minute sitcom featuring direct-to-camera interviews, etc.
6. A fourth season of Bored to Death; each episode is 8 minutes long and embedded as a series of “commercial breaks” into random late-night infomercials.
7. Reboot of Family Ties as a serious one hour drama / secret mash-up with Batttlestar Galactica (Dad Keaton begins to suspect that Alex is a cylcon—or is he a cylon himself?!).
8. American version of Downton Abbey that lasts nine seasons longer than the British version.
9. Nine hour miniseries sequel to Xena: Warrior Princess.
10. Reboot of The Sopranos in the style of Real Housewives of New Jersey.
11. Reboot of Freaks and Geeks that gets canceled after one season but no one from the show moves on to any measure of fame or success.
12. Reboot of Seinfeld as a series of dramatic monologues performed by subterranean survivors of some unnameable apocalypse.
13. Reboot of Breaking Bad without cancer, meth, crime plots. Series is about a high school teacher and his family.
14. Reboot of Entourage as a first-person shooter video game where players can repeatedly execute the characters.
15. A fourth season of Deadwood.