DONALD BARTHELME’S FINE HOMEMADE SOUPS
My fine homemade soups are interesting, economical, and tasty. To make them, one proceeds in the following way:
Fine Homemade Leek Soup
Take one package Knorr Leek Soupmix. Prepare as directed. Take two live leeks. Chop leeks into quarter-inch rounds. Throw into Soupmix.
Throw in ½ cup Tribuno Dry Vermouth. Throw in chopped parsley.
Throw in some amount of salt and a heavy bit of freshly-ground pepper.
Eat with good-quality French bread, dipped repeatedly in soup.
Fine Homemade Mushroom Soup
Take one package Knorr Mushroom Soupmix. Prepare as directed.
Take four large mushrooms. Slice. Throw into Soupmix. Throw in ⅛ cup Tribuno Dry Vermouth, parsley, salt, pepper. Stick bread as above into soup at intervals. Buttering bread enhances taste of the whole.
Fine Homemade Chicken Soup
Take Knorr Chicken Soupmix, prepare as directed, throw in leftover chicken, duck, or goose as available. Add enhancements as above.
Fine Homemade Oxtail Soup
Take Knorr Oxtail Soupmix, decant into same any leftover meat (sliced or diced) from the old refrigerator. Follow above strategies to the letter.
The result will make you happy. Knorr’s Oxtail is also good as a basic gravy-maker and constituent of a fine fake cassoulet about which we can talk at another time. Knorr is a very good Swiss outfit whose products can be found in both major and minor cities. The point here is not to be afraid of the potential soup but to approach it with the attitude that you know what’s best for it. And you do. The rawness of the vegetables refreshes the civilization of the Soupmixes. And there are opportunities for mercy-if your ox does not wish to part with his tail, for example, to dress up your fine Oxtail Soup, you can use commercial products from our great American supermarkets, which will be almost as good. These fine homemade recipes work! Use them with furious enthusiasm.
From The Great American Writers’ Cookbook (ed. Dean Faulkner Wells, 1981).
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