This was too good not to repost. A few selections from “The Poetry of Sarah Palin,” courtesy of today’s Slate:
“On Good and Evil”
It is obvious to me
Who the good guys are in this one
And who the bad guys are.
The bad guys are the ones
Who say Israel is a stinking corpse,
And should be wiped off
The face of the earth.That’s not a good guy.
(To K. Couric, CBS News, Sept. 25, 2008)
“Challenge to a Cynic”
You are a cynic.
Because show me where
I have ever said
That there’s absolute proof
That nothing that man
Has ever conducted
Or engaged in,
Has had any effect,
Or no effect,
On climate change.(To C. Gibson, ABC News, Sept. 11, 2008)
And my personal favorite:
“Secret Conversation”
I asked President Karzai:
“Is that what you are seeking, also?
“That strategy that has worked in Iraq?
“That John McCain had pushed for?
“More troops?
“A counterinsurgency strategy?”And he said, “Yes.”
(To K. Couric, CBS News, Sept. 25, 2008)
Great stuff.
Also, if Palin’s incoherence in real interviews isn’t enough absurdity for you, check out the Sarah Palin Fictional Quote Generator. Sample:
I’m not one of those who feel like whether that is part of the solution or not and we’ve got to remember what the desire is in this nation at this time.
This is not quite as brilliant as Donald Rumsfeld, but still very solid.
Here is one of my favorites from the book that collected Rumsfeld’s briefings/work into their true poetic form, Pieces of Intelligence: The Existential Poetry of Donald Rumsfeld
The Unknown
As we know,
There are known knowns.
There are things we know we know.
We also know
There are known unknowns.
That is to say
We know there are some things
We do not know.
But there are also unknown unknowns,
The ones we don’t know
We don’t know.
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You know, as much as I can’t stand Rumsfeld, I’ve always felt like this (in)famous statement of his was actually pretty logical–it sort of cuts to the heart of the limitations of first-person perspective. Rumsfeld’s right: there are unknown unknowns, things that we don’t know that we don’t know. But knowing that there are unknown unknowns, of course, presents a pretty logical argument not to, you know, invade a territory rife with unknown unknowns. Rumsfeld’s poem reminds me of psychologist RD Laing’s work, Knots. Excerpt:
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