Found this on the ground today:
Translation:
“Dearest Friend,
Have you heard the gossip? Apparently, this past Friday, a certain young lady engaged in, as the French say (forgive me for being indelicate here) a ménage à trois. My ex-boyfriend was one of the participants, and, after the escapade, she reported that his sexual appendage was, well, smaller than average (he had a very small dick). Well, of course such spiteful calumny greatly agitated the young man, and, as for me, well, I must admit some measure of apathy (and perhaps distaste) for the whole matter. The young lady involved in the threesome had a boyfriend, and this young man has now turned his romantic–perhaps amorous–attentions in my direction; however, I declined his advances.”
Ah…kids.
Biblioklept 
Hoo Haa! How bout this bein the best post evah! I done red it and know i am laffin! I done had told averbody to reed it. But i be made if this be my lettor! (or if I was the chap with the diminutive phallus)
Thank you for making my day!
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Love your erudite translation of this text. Have you considered submitting this to Found magazine?
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I dunno…do you think Davy Rothbart & co. would dig it? I’ll send it…
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