[Editorial note: The following citations come from one-star Amazon reviews George Eliot’s novel Middlemarch (I loved Middlemarch, by the way). I’ve preserved the reviewers’ original punctuation and spelling. More one-star Amazon reviews.].
too literary
No… just.. no
fancy words
a driveling tale
verbage is archaic
too many characters
characters seem fake
author of dubious character
Could not relate to characters
All of the characters are flawed
goes off on philosophical tangents
the sentences run on and on and on
I’m an avid reader and love many of the classics
a maze of literary, historical and mythological references
author whose moral frame of reference is so small-minded
Middlemarch is about a small town called Middlemarch
you won’t be able to fit it in your purse
This is trash, and bordering on fraud
the language should be readable
she can beat you into submission
This book was a book club read
BIG, FREAKING PLOT HOLE
I enjoy English literature
perpetual pontification
This is a Huge book
Sooooo wordy
100s of pages
Good ghod
lacks wit
Yuk
Biblioklept 
I haven’t read it, but I’m going to now, since my guess is that they are all completely clueless. Lol.
LikeLiked by 1 person
These are hilarious! Thanks for sharing.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I agree with Laura, now on my must read list. Words and all that stuff cluttering up a novel.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sure gives us a great idea of who is a customer on Amazon or who likes to do reviews.
LikeLike
This is poetry
LikeLike
I won’t be choosing books based on reviews by Amazon’s readers.
LikeLike