“Poems for Bad Children” — Andrew Hudgins

I

We buried the bird but the cat dug her up,
cat dug her up, cat dug her up,
we buried the bird but the cat dug her up,
so we ground her in the disposal.

We buried the cat but the dog dug her up,
dog dug her up, dog dug her up.
We buried the cat but the dog dug her up,
so we cremated her in the oven.

We buried the dog but the kids dug him up,
kids dug him up, kids dug him up,
we buried the dog but the kids dug him up
so we chopped him into pieces.

We buried the kids but the cops dug them up
cops dug them up, cops dug them up,
we buried the kids but the cops dug them up,
and where we are going we won’t be dug up
after we sit on Ol’ Sparky.

II

Oh, sure, he can’t control his bowels
and since the stroke he drools,
and sings those dirty army songs
about the family jewels.

Refrain: When Granddad says, “Please kill me!”
you mustn’t help him die,
no matter how he begs and pleads
and tries to tell you why.
No matter he’s incontinent
and when he pees he bleeds,
just look him in the bleary eye,
and deny him what he needs.

He tells you all about his sores
and tries to make you look.
He tells you all his friends are dead
and he resents their luck.

Refrain

O, you can prop pills on his pillow
fetch water by the quart
but you must not help him swallow,
though he’s on life support.

Refrain

O, you can put the knife beside him
and tell him what it’s for,
but you must not hold it to his throat
and then complete the chore.

Refrain

O, you can hand Granddad the gun
When you’re a little bigger.
You can even click the safety off,
but you mustn’t pull the trigger.

When Granddad says, “Please kill me!”
you mustn’t help him die,
no matter how he begs and pleads
and tries to tell you why