Placentophagy 101

About eight years ago, I read an article in Harper’s Magazine detailing, if I recall correctly, the script of an English cooking show where the host and his guests cooked and ate fresh placenta. This has always been intriguing to me for some reason; a little research revealed that almost all mammals, including primates, eat the placenta, which provides all kinds of unique nourishment to a nursing mother.

As I’ve mentioned before, my wife is currently pregnant with our first child, a girl, due in early June. We’ve been attending birthing classes once a week at night, and last night we watched a video of a “real” (i.e. not computer simulated) birth. I had seen video of live birth before; I hadn’t witnessed the discharge of afterbirth. The afterbirth looked to be a big blue and black balloon of goo, twice as big as the baby. My word. One man in our group lost some Dr. Pepper through his nose. I wasn’t shocked or disgusted, but the placenta didn’t really seem very appetizing (I had tentative plans to eat it).

Well, so and anyway, after the video our birthing coach submitted to the class that most animals and some cultures practiced the eating of the placenta. This drew a mixed response from the crowd: incredulous horror, baffled humor, grade-school disgust, and, most interestingly, nationalism. Yes. Nationalism: “Not in America, they don’t!” exclaimed (yes, he exclaimed) one young man in jean shorts, to the information that some people made a stew of the afterbirth. He was immediately backed up: “Maybe they do that in foreign countries, but not in America!” “Maybe in Afghanistan! Maybe in Iraq!” Once these admonitions were voiced, it seemed necessary for the group to repeat, to reinforce these dietary restrictions. Just about everybody grumbled in bemused agreement.

So, at the risk of coming off as un-American, I provide a couple of links to recipes for placentas:

From Twilight Headquarters, a couple of recipes, including a cocktail recipe and a lasgane.  Also contains pictures!

A number of recipes from Mothers 35 Plus. Also includes tips on dehydrating the placenta (mmm…jerky!)

Feel free to write in with your own recipes, serving suggestions, and culinary tips.

Grandad’s Eggnog

Hopefully everyone is happy and with loved ones and friends during these holidays–and what better way to show love and fellowship than sharing a draught of delicious eggnog (alternately, the sad and solitary can drown their lonely sorrows in this high-alcohol, high-calorie treat). This is an old recipe; I remember my cousin and I stealing sips of this nog during my grandparents’ Christmas parties.

You will need:

A bottle of fine bourbon

A bottle of fine rum

A liqueur of your choice (this is optional; coffee, cream, or amaretto all add a nice touch)

A gallon of vanilla ice cream (substitute frozen yoghurt if you’re concerned about calories)

A carton of store-bought eggnog (alternately, you can make your own eggnog from eggs, milk, and sugar, although it’s a genuine pain in the ass and no one will ever know the difference, unless you go around pointing it out to them, which will make you look like an asshole, and you don’t want to look like an asshole, do you?)

Nutmeg, cinnamon, mace, clove (Use whole spices! Any of your favorite holiday spices will do, but I consider these four essential)

To make a one gallon pitcher of eggnog:

Put about 6 cups of ice cream in the pitcher. Add some cinnamon sticks and cloves; grate some nutmeg and mace into the pitcher. Add 4 cups of the store-bought eggnog, stir mixture. Add about 3 and 1/2 cups of bourbon, 1 1/2 cups of rum, and liqueur (about 1/2 a cup will do) to taste; add more spices. Stir vigorously; cover and allow to set in the freezer for at least 12 hours before serving. Stir vigorously before serving.

To make your guests happy, I suggest serving the nog with both liquor and ice cream at hand; this way those inclined may add either as their taste dictates. (Note for heavy drinkers: if your intention is to get smashed, stop drinking the eggnog after two cups and begin drinking the bourbon straight! The high levels of cream and sugar in this nog will almost guarantee a hangover–don’t overdo it!)