U.S.!–Chris Bachelder

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Chris Bachelder‘s superb novel U.S.! portrays an alternate (and somewhat hyperbolic) United States where the Left (big-L) keeps bringing Upton Sinclair (that guy who wrote The Jungle (maybe you read it in high school (I didn’t))) back to life. These would-be revolutionaries try to keep Sinclair (and hope) alive in spite of the fact that right-wing reactionary populist heroes keep assassinating him. In fact, in U.S.!, Upton Sinclair assassination is its own cottage industry.

Bachelder uses a dazzling range of approaches in the first 200 pages of the novel, employing everything from folk song lyrics to Amazon reviews to talk show transcripts in order to flesh out his alternate universe. The first part of U.S.! essentially sets up the last third of the novel, a relatively straight-forward third-person omniscient account of a Fourth of July book-burning in a Southern state. I won’t reveal any more of the plot, because I’m lazy and you should read this book for yourself.

Bachelder’s writing crackles with wit and surprising warmth, especially in the character of Sinclair, who comes across as a (literally) dusty out-of-touch relic, an idealist as equally unable to effect any change in the modern world as he was able to in his own era. Sinclair and the would-be revolutionaries who resuscitate him serve as Bachelder’s critique on America’s stale, impotent left (or is it Left?). Bachelder also savagely criticizes Sinclair’s rhetoric; one of the funniest sections of the first part of the book involves an analysis of exclamation points (and their overuse) in Sinclair’s novels. Toward the end of the novel, Bachelder employs a meta-critical strategy of adding more and more exclamation points to his own writing; the exaggerated gestures comically highlight the cartoonishly grotesque world of U.S.!, at the same time counterbalancing the understated but profound sadness of the novel.

My only gripe with U.S.! would be Bachelder’s rare lapse into what I like to call “workshop fiction”–fiction that seems the contrived and overwritten product of MFA work-shopping (did I mention that Bachelder got his MFA at my alma mater, the University of Florida at Gainesville? (other great writers associated with this glorious institution include Padgett Powell and Harry Crews)). As I noted though, these instances are rare and mostly notable because the majority of the novel is so fresh, original, and readable. This book is funny, poignant, and you should read it.

Remember to Spay and Neuter Your Pets

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The last episode of Bob Barker’s 35 year run as host of The Price is Right airs twice today on CBS–once at 11:00am (i.e. right now) and once more at 8:00pm. Like many of you, I’m sure, I spent many a “sick day” at home delighting in silly contestants in ridiculous homemade T-shirts spin wheels and flip numbers, all under Mr. Barker’s encouraging guidance.

The show will continue, but a new host has not yet been announced. Isn’t this a mistake? Shouldn’t they just cancel the show? I just don’t see the throwback sets and campy feel of Price working without Bob Barker. But who can say for sure.

Possible replacement hosts for The Price is Right:

Ryan Seacrest

Michael “Heckuva job, Brownie” Brown

Candace Bergen

Mel “Sugartits” Gibson

Any other candidates?

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UPDATE (SPOILER WARNING!)

Okay. We just watched Bob Barker’s finale and here’s what happened (again–spoiler warning! Quit reading if you plan to watch this on your Tivo or whatever!).

It turned out that the whole thing was just a dream–and in a clever kind of po-mo twist, the whole series actually took place in a snow-globe. Also, Bob killed Laura Palmer. Sort of. The last shot is kind of ambiguous–it just blacks out on Bob while that kick-ass Journey song is blaring. Mysterious.