Ever since I started keeping my diary of remorse, my remorse has evaporated | Nancy Lemann

February 10, 2022

Ever since I started keeping my diary of remorse, my remorse has evaporated. The answer to a personality problem or spiritual malaise is to keep a diary of it because then the quantity you are quantifying seems to disappear. Therefore I should go on to keep a diary of other troubling quantities. Such as Diary of Lassitude, Lack of Motivation, Failure to Act, etc.

The lockdowns start and stop and then I go back and forth to my odd and unlikely hometown. I see that my interest in my volunteer job (of monitoring justice in the New Orleans criminal courts) is largely prurient. For this I should have remorse but don’t. When I get my docket in the morning I compare it to all the other dockets, pining that they are more exciting. Judge DeBoes has murders, rapes, and kidnappings on his docket today, not to mention a case of False Personation (???), Malfeasance in Office, and False Imprisonment, but I am not assigned to his courtroom. My consolation however is that today I am in the courtroom of the piping mad personality-ridden Judge Hollingsworth.

The defendants in New Orleans always have names like:

Jockward Jones
Curry Carter
Stokes Meilleur
King Malveaux
Narvelle Perrin
Bingo Fox
Margaret Lemmonier

And the judges have names like that too.

Talk about a vanished world. The grandiose criminal court building. The old-time bars and cafés amid the greenery.

From “Diary of Remorse.” Published in Paris Review, no. 241, Sept. 2022.

Two by Nancy Lemann (Books acquired, early March 2026)

NYRB is reissuing Nancy Lemann’s 1985 novel Lives of the Saints next month. Her most recent novel, The Oyster Diaries is a sort of sequel to that early cult novel. From Geoff Dyer’s introduction to Lives of the Saints:

I want to believe that there is always a trail, however faint, leading readers back to a book that, like a hiker lost in the wilderness, is on the brink of perishing. But where does the trail start? In 2020, one of my undergrads at the University of Southern California told me that her mum was a writer. Good for her, I thought. The following week, my student said I’d really like her mum’s writing and offered to bring in a book by her. Um, okay. At the end of the semester, she gave me a harmless-looking paperback called Lives of the Saints, published in 1985 by Louisiana State University Press. I put this little book on a shelf in my office and forgot about it.

In 2023, the writer Heather McGowan texted to tell me about a “bonkers” novel by someone called Nancy Lemann that she was sure I’d like. I ordered it online. Didn’t look very promising: a print-on-demand book published by Louisiana State University Press. But, after the book arrived, I started reading and within half a dozen pages was as besotted as the narrator, Louise, is by Claude, one of the family of “saints” (the Colliers by name) whose lives—and a death—swim around her in a cocktail- and heat-soaked New Orleans. She adores Claude for his generosity, kindness, and wisdom (the three are synonymous in her view), and also because he’s on the brink of dereliction and collapse—as are many people in the book. She hangs on his every word, but these words, delivered in the family’s curious deadpan” and often unfolding in the midst of binges or their hungover aftermath, are nonsensical, “idiotic.” She can’t stop listening to them, and I couldn’t stop reading them, or those of Claude’s little brother, a boy actually called Saint who, out of nowhere, announces, There’s a certain meteorite in the sky, and it’s all made up of plasma.” Oh, and let’s not forget Mrs. Stewart, an intelligent woman” who tells Louise that the thing she remembers most vividly from her youth is either “that little red hat which I wore in the summer of . . . 1912” or the “shoe sizes her friends wore in 1910.” Mrs. Stewart gets on with her daughter-in-law Julia because they happily spend many hours talking about details of girlhood attire, and other lame-brained elements of clothing through the decades.”