Granddad’s Eggnog

Hopefully everyone is happy and with loved ones and friends during these holidays–and what better way to show love and fellowship than sharing a draught of delicious eggnog (alternately, the sad and solitary can drown their lonely sorrows in this high-alcohol, high-calorie treat). This is an old recipe; I remember my cousin and I stealing sips of this nog during my grandparents’ Christmas parties.

You will need:

A bottle of fine bourbon

A bottle of fine rum

A liqueur of your choice (this is optional; coffee, cream, or amaretto all add a nice touch)

A gallon of vanilla ice cream (substitute frozen yoghurt if you’re concerned about calories)

A carton of store-bought eggnog (alternately, you can make your own eggnog from eggs, milk, and sugar, although it’s a genuine pain in the ass and no one will ever know the difference, unless you go around pointing it out to them, which will make you look like an asshole, and you don’t want to look like an asshole, do you?)

Nutmeg, cinnamon, mace, clove (Use whole spices! Any of your favorite holiday spices will do, but I consider these four essential)

To make a one gallon pitcher of eggnog:

Put about 6 cups of ice cream in the pitcher.

Add some cinnamon sticks and cloves; grate some nutmeg and mace into the pitcher.

Add 4 cups of the store-bought eggnog; stir mixture.

Add about 3 and 1/2 cups of bourbon, 1 1/2 cups of rum, and liqueur (about 1/2 a cup will do) to taste; add more spices.

Stir vigorously; cover and allow to set in the freezer for at least 12 hours before serving. Stir vigorously before serving.

To make your guests happy, I suggest serving the nog with both liquor and ice cream at hand; this way those inclined may add either as their taste dictates. (Note for heavy drinkers: if your intention is to get smashed, stop drinking the eggnog after two cups and begin drinking the bourbon straight! The high levels of cream and sugar in this nog will guarantee a hangover–don’t overdo it!).

6 thoughts on “Granddad’s Eggnog”

  1. See, now I know I’ve never had real “eggnog”, I know this because storebought “eggnog” is listed as an ingredient in this recipe, which means that any time I tasted that nasty stuff, (and claimed to hate it) I was basically hating on 1/10 of the recipe for Actual Eggnog, which it sounds amazing.


    1. I tried making eggnog from scratch twice. Both times the result were good, but not worth the effort, because I still used the recipe above to “finish” the preparation—it’s basically an eggnog bourbon milkshake, with the nog as a key flavoring element but not really the main show. I’m sure there are eggnog purists who would balk at this recipe, but I’ve served it for years and people like it . . . only, like I indicate, this isn’t something one can drink all night.


    1. Hey, thanks for the tip. I took the liberty of cutting and pasting. Here’s Mingus’s jam:

      * Separate one egg for one person. Each person gets an egg.
      * Two sugars for each egg, each person.
      * One shot of rum, one shot of brandy per person.
      * Put all the yolks into one big pan, with some milk.
      * That’s where the 151 proof rum goes. Put it in gradually or it’ll burn the eggs,
      * OK. The whites are separate and the cream is separate.
      * In another pot– depending on how many people– put in one shot of each, rum and brandy. (This is after you whip your whites and your cream.)
      * Pour it over the top of the milk and yolks.
      * One teaspoon of sugar. Brandy and rum.
      * Actually you mix it all together.
      * Yes, a lot of nutmeg. Fresh nutmeg. And stir it up.
      * You don’t need ice cream unless you’ve got people coming and you need to keep it cold. Vanilla ice cream. You can use eggnog. I use vanilla ice cream.
      * Right, taste for flavor. Bourbon? I use Jamaica Rum in there. Jamaican Rums. Or I’ll put rye in it. Scotch. It depends.
      See, it depends on how drunk I get while I’m tasting it.
      –Charles Mingus


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